


What To Expect

by astro_noms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-22
Updated: 2010-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-09 02:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astro_noms/pseuds/astro_noms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh God," Dean's eyes widen. "It's a demon baby?!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	What To Expect

When John calls Sam and Dean and asks them to come and help him out with something, but refuses to go into details, Dean gets three speeding tickets in three different states but manages to get them there in under a day. Sam resists the urge to fall to his knees and kiss the ground when they finally get there, but only because it looks like there might possibly be a civilization of new life forms flourishing in the cracked surface of the parking lot, and he doesn't want to disturb their development.

They look up at the building John gave them the address to and puzzle over the fact that it's not a hotel, but an apartment building.

"How long has dad been here, do you think?" Dean asks Sam as they start walking towards it.

"I don't like this," Sam says. "It's not like him to stay in one place long enough to get an apartment."

"Maybe he finally found the thing that killed mom, and needs our help to kill it," Dean says hopefully.

"Why wouldn't he tell us about it when he called?"

"You're the psychic in the family, Sammy, why don't you tell me?" Dean snaps and it's only because Sam's taller and can walk faster that he avoids the smack to the back of the head. "Maybe he didn't want to get our hopes up."

After that, they practically run into the building, race each other up the stairs to the third floor when the elevator takes too long, and shove each other out of the way as they knock on the door to apartment 307.

The door opens on a dark apartment, but their eyes adjust quickly and they push inside with a rush of worry when they catch sight of John sitting in a wheelchair, a blanket bunched up in his lap, covering his legs.

"Oh God, what happened?"

"Dad, what the hell?"

Anything else they may have said is cut off when John stands up, letting the blanket fall to the floor, revealing his distended belly. His looks-just-like-a-pregnant-woman's belly.

Dean gapes. Sam opens his mouth repeatedly to say something, but it just makes him look like a dying fish. John sinks back into the wheelchair, burying his face in his hands.

"Dad, what exactly…" Sam finally manages to make sounds, but ends up gesturing with his hands.

"I don't know," John shakes his head. "I've been trying to figure out what happened, but I haven't gotten anywhere."

"How long has… _this_ been going on?" Dean makes an encompassing motion with his hands, his eyes not staying on John for longer than a few seconds at a time.

"A couple of weeks," John says. "I was hunting the demon. Almost had it, got close enough to get into a scrap, and then it just… disappeared. Completely and utterly gone."

"Oh God," Dean's eyes widen. "It's a demon baby?!" Sam sees Dean's hand going to the back of his waistband, reaching for his gun, and steps in front of him, placing himself between his father and his brother.

"Dean, calm down," he says, holding up his hands. "It doesn't have to be a demon baby. It can just be…"

"What, Sam? What can it be? What can our _father_ be pregnant with other than a fucking demon baby?"

Sam is struggling for a possible explanation when John speaks up from behind him. "It's not a demon baby." Sam turns to face John and feels Dean step up to stand beside him.

"How do you know?"

"Because I made sure it wasn't. I've been eating nothing but blessed food, drinking nothing but blessed liquids, hell, I've been taking baths in tubs full of holy water. I think if there was anything remotely demonic about this, I'd know it by now."

"OK," Sam says, still trying to wrap his mind about the whole 'my father is _pregnant_' thing and not even remotely succeeding. Still, he tries. "So what is it?"

"I don't know," John says again, and Sam realizes this is probably the first time he's seen his father be completely at a loss regarding something supernatural.

"How long…" Dean speaks up from where he's standing, still looking anywhere but at John. "How long 'til you…" He tries to finish the sentence, but nothing comes out.

"I'm guessing any day now," John tells them. I've been stocking up a bit, just in case." He points to the small dresser piled high with baby supplies – diapers, baby clothes, formula, and a small bassinet, lined with a ridiculously fluffy pink blanket, looking even more ridiculous because it's sitting right next to the guns and knives and boxes of ammo.

Sam is amazed at how _calm_ John is about it all. He can't even begin to imagine how he would handle something like this. He doesn't _want_ to imagine how he would handle something like this, because he has a feeling he wouldn't handle it very well.

"How did you get all this stuff? I mean, you're not exactly… inconspicuous. And even with the wheelchair, I'd imagine it'd be hard to hide the…" Words fail him again and he makes do with hand gestures.

"I've had it delivered," John says, and then frowns, one hand going to his belly, rubbing it in circles.

"What's wrong?" Dean suddenly snaps out of his stupor, concern creasing his face. He looks like it's taking every ounce of control he has to stay that calm and collected. "Is it…"

"It's okay," John smiles up at him. "The baby's just kicking." He reaches for Dean's hand and pulls it close to lay it on his belly. "See?"

Dean blanches and then his eyes widen as he feels the baby kick. He grins and turns to Sam. "You gotta feel this, Sammy."

Sam looks to John, who nods and smiles. Sam kneels in front of his father and reaches out to place his hand beside Dean's.

The vision hits out of nowhere, blinding him first with a flash of light and then with the pain that follows. It's not like his usual visions, with a scene playing out, showing him someone in danger or something evil. Instead, it's flashes and fragments, of a little girl with pigtails and wide eyes, of a teenage girl wielding a sword, of a young woman closing her eyes and holding out a glowing hand in front of her. Image after image, playing out like a flipbook with its images arranged out of order.

Sam falls back, staring up at his father and brother. He rubs his temples to chase away the pain.

"What is it, Sam?" Dean recognizes the signs of a vision, and goes to Sam to help him up. "Something bad?"

"I don't think so. Didn't feel like it. She's…"

"She? It's a girl?" Dean is still hovering over him, but now he looks torn between making sure Sam is all right and going to John's side.

"Yeah, I think so." Sam waves him away. "Dude, I'm fine. Stop freaking out, it's freaking me out."

"Uh, boys?" John's voice is tense and they turn towards him to see his eyes wide and his hands on the sides of his belly. "I think it's time…"

"We gotta get him to a doctor!" Dean jumps to his feet, inches away from full blown panic.

"And what exactly are we supposed to say? 'Excuse me, doctor, my father is about to give birth, we need some help' isn't really going to cut it, don't you think?"

"Well, what are we supposed to do? I don't know anything about delivering babies!" Not inches away anymore, more like miles into panic now.

"Dude, could you get your Butterfly McQueen on another time?" Sam is on his feet, moving to where John is starting to look like he's in some serious pain, and doesn't even break his stride when he smacks Dean in the back of the head. "Dad, what do we do?" He kneels in front of John again, wondering how exactly they're going to deal with this, and why the hell he's so fucking calm.

"There isn't exactly a manual for this sort of thing, Sammy. It's not like I can just go to the bookstore and buy a copy of _What To Expect When You're Expecting For Men_," John chuckles but the laugh is broken off when he winces in pain and clutches at his belly.

"This is so fucked up," Dean says, standing a few feet away, staring at them with wide eyes.

"Thank you for that recap, Captain Obvious," Sam snaps at him. "Come on, help me get dad to the bed." Dean just stands there, staring at them, until Sam yells, "Dean!" and makes him move.

They're halfway through the small room – how can it possibly take so long to go twenty feet? – when John's legs give out and he slides to the floor, screaming in pain, making Sam and Dean scream along with him as they try to help him to his feet and get all the way to the bed. Then there is a bright flash of light, blinding in its intensity, and when it's gone, they're kneeling in the middle of the room together, holding six handfuls of squirming baby girl, screaming at the top of her lungs.


End file.
